Art Journal Page
Anyone heart that saying, "If you think nobody cares try not paying your mortgage for a month"? - Of course your bank/building society do not actually care about you at all, just about your money. But.. how about trying this one. Dont post, or 'like' on Facebook for a week and see who notices. If like me, you have spent years spending each day trolling through and making sure your 100 or so contacts are all good, being sure to offer any comfort or support needed to each and every one of them... sharing in their grief and upset, being sure not to post about your own problems so as not to bore anybody, being sure not to even say much in order not to offend anybody........ sure I do not need to go on, any fellow anxiety sufferer knows all this already.
Art Journal page with collage
Out of all the contacts and 'so called' friends on my Facebook page there are only about 5 or 6 of them who are actually aware I suffer from depression, this is the first time I have made it public and as not so many read this blog (though I 'might' share it on Art101) its not likely they will.
What brought me to this confession here? well one reason was the sad death of the great Robin Williams, which at the very least should make this illness more public. Secondly was a recent post by one of the artists in group 101, a fellow sufferer. Lastly was the reason I was tipped over the edge last week by a contact on Facebook. This person was not just a contact but someone I know in 'real' life and have supported for many years. Needless to say she is no longer a contact or considered as a friend, of course she did not know how I was feeling but then she did not ask either, or consider my feelings in any way. Some days later and a lot of thought maybe she has done me a favor?
Large Canvas, work in progress...
Back to the point, so I have not posted or 'liked' on Facebook for five days now - I have not shown support, commented or been involved with anybody on (or off) social media. So far how many people have noticed, after the years of support and concern.. the days of being so sad by what has happened in people's lives, who often I barely know........... Okay I do have a couple more days to make it to the week but so far I have ONE person to thank, she knows who she is.
The same can be said for other media, I have done the same experiment on.
Before I go on (and on) any further I must get to what this has done for me, and hope this might do the same for others. If you feel you can do the same experiment, and can cope with the fall out it might just help how it has for me. I do not feel dejected or feel sorry for myself I just realised how much time I have wasted on others who are so self absorbed they have not even noticed - those hours per day I have wasted making sure everyone is ok and lending support that maybe was not needed by me? but has most certainly been a total waste of my time, and has affected my own well being. If it was not for the art groups I enjoy on Facebook I would delete my account and never return.. now trying to work how best to improve things, first will be deleting a lot of contacts, but not sure what to do after that.........must say though............not reading my 'feed' each day is certainly making me feel better.
Before I leave today's confessional I would like to leave on a positive note. I am currently reading two books that are a real revelation for anyone suffering from anxiety and depression, these are 'The Mood Cure' by Julia Ross, and 'Potatoes not Prozac' by Kathleen DesMaisons. I am also reading an autobiography on Freda Kahlo which is just amazing, I have always loved her as an artist and cant wait to start the 'portraits with the masters' course in September as I know Jane Davenport is doing 'Freda'. See, more time now without the social media thing...
Also doing much more art some of which will be added to my Etsy shop in the future, takes time though to cure and varnish things, then have them photographed and listed when I would rather be painting. Here is my shop ETSY SHOP
One more thing (now I sound like Columbo) this was a great observation from an artist I watch on youtube also on the subject of social media, maybe she words it better than me The Frugal Crafter
Thank you to anyone who has read this far, and thank you to Iris who is usually the only person to comment:)